Simon the Hypocrite

First, let me remind you that Simon is the one that ate a teaspoon of tabasco sauce. He has also been known to slurp up jelly from a plate with a straw. And once he ate an entire sugar packet - not just the contents, the entire packet - paper and all.

So, when someone else decided to eat the lemon from their ice tea, wouldn't you think Simon would be the last person to object? You probably would think that. But you would be wrong.

The Fiddler

Simon likes to fiddle with things: dry erase markers, cables, stuff on my desk, basically anything he can get his hands on. There are a bunch of plastic forks in one of the conference rooms. I once watched him tear one apart over the course of a meeting. The next time we met in that room he asked me why those forks are there. Well, Simon, they're obviously there so you have something to play with.

Simon at the Movies II

The same night as Simon at the Movies, the party he was with received the second half of a buy 1 - get 1 special.

Zach was leaving to go home for the night; the group said their goodbyes; Zach began to walk away. As Zach's about 25 feet away, with his back turned, Simon begins to have a 1:1 conversation with Zach (tone nor decibel-level was any different than if Zach had been right in front of us)...

Simon at the Movies

We had just seen "District 9" - a movie-hop after catching "Inglourious Basterds" - and were standing out in the theater lobby. We saw my roommate, Rich, outside and he and Simon proceeded to have this exchange:

SIMON Hey Rich, remember that time when we were talking about what we would do if we knew we were going to be fired?

RICH Yeah?

SIMON Oh ok.

[uncomfortable pause]

RICH Was there something else to that?

SIMON No, I was just wondering if you remembered...

Simon eats spoonfuls of Tabasco sauce

At the end of pancakes one day, we were talking about Alcazar's friend from college who drank a bottle of Tabasco sauce for a $5 bet. Meanwhile, Simon picked up the bottle of Tabasco sauce and poured himself a teaspoon...